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FISH OUT OF WATER

The life I knew was forever changed.

As I was driving home with my two daughters in the back seat singing songs on the radio, my phone rang and a voice on the other end said "Kelly, I'm so sorry, but your test results came back from your biopsy and you have breast cancer." My life suddenly flashed before me through the eye-wrenching glare on the windshield. The voice continued as all I heard was silence as she continued to tell me more details of my test results. The world and everything around me was in slow motion and all I could hear were haunting voices whispering in my ear.

I had a million emotions hover all around me, like hands from a gravesite pulling me under not able to breathe. Like standing on a cold empty stage with bright lights shining only on me, but the seats were empty. I whispered to myself, breathe, this is all you can do now. Questions racing in my mind, as the voice continued to talk on the other end of the phone, telling me the scientific name of the cancer, what I needed to do and to act fast because it was aggressive. These words left the door wide open for opportunity for the terrifying words "what if." What will happen to me if I die or live, what will happen to my innocent daughters, my husband and questions of "why me" racing through my completely chaotic mind. I was suffocating like a fish out of water.

11 months later and cancer free, the answers are clear. To live differently, not so scheduled and worried all the time, but to LIVE YOUR LIFE! Enjoy all the little things you have in your life. Breathe!

(donation for Bridge of Blessings Organization, Richardson TX)

Kelly Garrett
Canyon Lake, TX

Nothing more exiciting than finding out what happens next!

Before I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was depressed and contemplating suicide. I spent my days bemoaning all the wrongs being done to me. I had started talk therapy, but I wasn't making good progress. So, you'd think being diagnosed with breast cancer would have sent me over the edge.
It didn't.
It liberated me.
I began to focus on something real: the fight for the well-being of my physical body. I began to focus on "the next step": the next step of my treatment, the next step in my surgery, the next step of my recovery. I directed that focus on improving all aspects of my life, one step at a time. I began to see see how my depression was just me thinking myself miserable.

One time, in between chemotherapy treatments, my husband and I went to watch "Pirates of the Caribbean". After we got out of the movie, I remember thinking "I wonder if I'll live to see the next 'Pirates' movie?" I quickly answered, "Yes, I am going to live to see the next movie." That's when I realized there were so many wonderful things in life to look forward to: big and little things! The next great movie, the next great meal, the next milestone in my kids' lives. Good and bad things will happen. Life is amazing and full. We just have to remember to live it one step at a time.

Anonymous
San Marcos, CA

My Journey through Breast Cancer.

"It's malignant." Those 2 words changed my life forever. The year 2010 definitely brought new challenges. Following mammos, ultrasounds, MRI's and core needle biopsies, the final diagnosis came on Nov 30th of 2009 - invasive ductal carcinoma. Breast cancer. I can't really say "why me?"; it's more like, haven't I been through enough? Ten major surgeries, almost dying twice, victim of a crime, divorce, loss of both parents within 6 months of each other, and now this. And yet...the gifts I have been given throughout have been so wonderful, so appreciated, so cherished. If this is the price to pay, then so be it.

Surgery on January 7th came in the form of a partial mastectomy with immediate reconstruction and sentinel lymph node biopsy. The word was good - great, clean margins and negative nodes. The pre-op wire needle localization and radioactive isotope injections around my nipple however, were nothing less than barbaric! And, my pee turned a bright blue color, just like the waters of the Carribean I love so much.

Once I recovered from surgery, chemo came onboard with a vengeance. Let's just say I experienced every side effect known to man and doctor, except for mouth sores. I actually didn't mind being bald; it was interesting to see what kind of head I had. I was told I had a nice looking bald head. Not the compliment most women want to hear, but at that point, it was good to hear!

Chemo ended after almost 4 months and I moved on to radiation, the silent but eventually painful half-sister. The burning gave way to peeling which gave way to very raw, very sore new skin underneath. But I'm healing now.

This journey is just about over. I'm grateful for my doctors...and more than ever... for life

Chris Matthews
Thornwood, NY

Love you A.T.W.A.B.A.

About one month ago, my band teacher told me she was going to get a tatoo on her wrist. I told her not to because I've always thought tatoos were ugly and gross. I kept telling her all the bad things I could think of about tatoos for the next week. Then I asked her what it was going to be of anyway. She said, "It's going to say 'A.T.W.A.B.A.' It stands for 'Around the world and back again'. Before my mom died of breast cancer when I was 16, we always said that to each other and to our friends. We would say 'Love you around the world and back again'. We would sign all of our letters with that. Over time it just shortened to 'Love you A.T.W.A.B.A.' I'm getting the tatoo in honor of her." I never once argued with her again about the tatoo. I admire my band teacher so much. Ever since her mom died of breast cancer, she's been doing everything she can to find a cure. She runs in every single marathon to raise money. She donates money. She talks about helping find the cure every day. She encouarges others to help as well. That's why I press the pink button every day. I run in marathon things too. Because of her. My band teacher and I are trying to find the cure to breast cancer together.

Anonymous
Tualatin, OR

Our PTA

I have been in the PTA for many years, and the for the last two years, I have been an officer for the PTA. Assistant to the President of the PTA, and last school year as the Vice-President of the PTA here in Lilburn, Georgia @ Lilburn Elementary School.
As a parent first, and now as a grandparent to two, we need the PTA. We need more parents to join the PTA, and support not only the school, but their children/family as well. We have had an uphill battle to keep going when it was really only a few members doing most of the work, but we had to keep going, even when some of us worked and some of us, like myself, were going to college.
We did it though with the help of God, I think we are on our way now to a better and hopefully, stronger PTA!

Thank you,

Khadijah Hawkins

Khadijah Hawkins
Norcross, GA

Beat the Odds!

My mother died of breast cancer at the age of 46 yrs. old. My younger sister was diagnosed six months before me at the age of 46 yrs. old. I was diagnosed at the age of 48. Luckily we were both in early stages and although she voted for a double masectomy I opted for a lumpectomy. Twelve years later we are both healthy and cancer free. It just proves that with research we beat the odds! Give freely to breast cancer research and help eradicate this destroyer of hope and confidence. I urge every woman I know to get a yearly mammogram and I hope my fellow survivors do so as well!

I would like the Boy Scouts of America to receive the donation.

Anne Graham
Astatula, FL

I am still here with help from friends, family, and UCSD!

I was diagnosed with stage IIIC invasive lobular cancer in November 2008. I found the Breast Care Program via the internet and immediately started down the path to getting this problem worked out.

I ended up at UCSD Moores Cancer Center in La Jolla, California and after a grueling round of biopsies, I began chemo in December, 2008. I had my mastectomy in April of 2009, radiation in the summer of 2009, and began reconstruction surgery this past January, 2010. I am having another revision surgery this coming Tuesday, July 13th, 2010.

Without my team at UCSD Moores Cancer Center here in the San Diego area, I might not be here to tell you about this journey I am on. Being able to give back something to them would be terrific and special to say the least. It would be a small way of saying a big "Thank You" to all of the folks at Moores and UCSD who have helped to save my life.

Thanks for the opportunity to tell our stories, share, and now to say Thank You to all who have helped us, INCLUDING the teaching hospital - UCSD here in San Diego, who has helped me so much.

Anonymous
San Diego, CA

The First Survivor

My story starts in 1949, three women in less than 3 years are lost to Breast Cancer.

My Great Aunt 36 years old was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and passed away in the Spring of 1950. My Grandmother 40 years old was diagonsed in the Spring of 1950 with Breast Cancer, she passed on Christmas Day that same year. A year later another Great Aunt under 40 years old is diagnosed and passes away.

In early 1980 my Uncle was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and in August passes away...

I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in December 2008 at the age of 39. I found out after my diagnosis that I am a BRCA1 carrier. BRCA1 is an inherited mutation which makes the carrier more likely to develop Cancer. I had a bilateral mastectomy in January, 2009 followed by 6 rounds of Chemotherapy
.
Just 1 month after I finished Chemo my Dad was diagnosed with Liver Cancer, I lost him a month later in August.

I finished reconstruction surgery in the fall and had a hysterectomy in November.

I am PROUD to be the 1st SURVIVOR in my family. I PRAY for a CURE each day.

Sandie Anglin
Edgemoor, SC

my story

I was told i had breast cancer. I would need to have the lump and breast removed. I would need a year of chemo and and radiation. I was lucky enough to have two daughters who cared alot. They went to ev appt. and treatment with me. . I was told i would lose my hair , gain weight, feel sick all the time and tired. They did not lie. But ev doctor, nurse, and recept. i saw were all very nice, helpful and caring. I learned quickly that attitude played alot iin recovering. I , meant others who had the same cancer, not as bad as mine but they refused treatments cuz they didnt want to lose their hair or feel sick, a few of them r no longer with us. Yes cancer is bad, its tough to beat, but u can do it. My advice to u who get it is this. Fight it, ev day, u feel sick and tire, but it will pass. And when u feel u cant fight it any more fight harder. Think of your loved ones and friends who care about u . i fought and i m still fighting, still having surgerys, but u know what i m still here. Each day is like a new begining, i appreciate life more, loved ones more, and start each day thanking god for giving me another day. I was told by my sister and neice that i m their hero. I m no hero, just a fighter. Amazing what u can do when u have to. The real hero is the doctors , nurses and medicine.God Bless u All. Pat (survior) If win give to Amer. cancer society Penn. Columbia Facility

pat
Bloomsburg, PA

Still Going Strong

In December of 1988 I had my yearly mammogram. Have had yearly mammograms since I was 40 as my grandmother died of lung cancer when she was in her 50's and my mother died of stomach cancer in her 60's. My cancer was still quite small when they found it. I decided to have a mastectomy of the left breast, rather than the chemo and radiology treatments it would mean if I just had the cancer itself removed. After much reflection, I had my surgery in the fall of 1989. My daughter was still in high school and my son had just finished college and was taking his first job away from home. The surgery went well and I took Tamoxifin for a number of years without any ill effects. After the biopsy, even though I strongly suspected it would be cancer...I remember crying in the nurse's arms remembering what had happened to my mom and grandmother. I used up all my tears so that when I first saw my dear husband I had a smile on my face. So far, 21 years has passed (I just reached my 80th birthday) and look forward to each day. I try to keep active with walking and Tai Chi Keep a positive attitude. That is what has kept me going all these years!

Geri McCarthy
Brookfield, WI