Before I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was depressed and contemplating suicide. I spent my days bemoaning all the wrongs being done to me. I had started talk therapy, but I wasn't making good progress. So, you'd think being diagnosed with breast cancer would have sent me over the edge.
It didn't.
It liberated me.
I began to focus on something real: the fight for the well-being of my physical body. I began to focus on "the next step": the next step of my treatment, the next step in my surgery, the next step of my recovery. I directed that focus on improving all aspects of my life, one step at a time. I began to see see how my depression was just me thinking myself miserable.
One time, in between chemotherapy treatments, my husband and I went to watch "Pirates of the Caribbean". After we got out of the movie, I remember thinking "I wonder if I'll live to see the next 'Pirates' movie?" I quickly answered, "Yes, I am going to live to see the next movie." That's when I realized there were so many wonderful things in life to look forward to: big and little things! The next great movie, the next great meal, the next milestone in my kids' lives. Good and bad things will happen. Life is amazing and full. We just have to remember to live it one step at a time.
San Marcos, CA
