This testimony is for my twenty two veteran brothers and sisters who have decided to end their life by committing suicide today. I wish there was some magical gift of love, I could send your way to make you change your mind but all I can do is share my own very personal story in hopes it just might make a positive difference. I too was once in your shoes. The year was 1996 and I was in the middle of a very bitter and ugly divorce. My life was totally turned upside down. My career in the Air Force was in jeopardy, because I could not focus on anything but the negatives in my life. It seemed as if I was losing everything important to me to include my two young children. I knew in the state of Illinois the chances of me gaining custody of them was slim at best. I was also aware that I was on the short list of being tagged with a 3 year overseas assignment which would result in me hardly ever getting to see my kids. At the time, I would have rather been dead than to face a life without them in it. These thoughts and fears consumed me every day and night. I could not envision a life without my children, so after a very long battle with severe depression, which by the way I tried very hard to hide from everyone in fear it would further destroy my military career, I made the decision to end my life. I thought, I had everything planned to the finest detail. I would wait until my children departed for school and then proceed to the guest bedroom located in our basement, insert a shot gun shell into my gun chamber, pull the trigger and escape all the madness. To be continued...

Brian Scott Sherman
Belleville, IL