I was diagnosed with breast cancer in May 2011 when I was 37 years old. I was a mother of two young children, 7 & 4 and was terrified when I learned I needed a mastectomy and chemo therapy immediately. I lost a breast and all my hair and it was traumatizing. The experience made me realize I needed to do something more with my life. I had always been a musician but was too scared to play for people. I was always waiting for that "some day". Having cancer made me realize that every day is my some day.
I began to play music, and write it and before I knew it a producer contacted me and within a year I had written a whole album! (It's due out on December 2) I was unstoppable and finally living the life I had always wanted to live. Cancer taught me that I needed to do what it was my soul was meant for and not worry about what other people thought. I have an overwhelming passion for life now. A joie de vivre. I thought cancer was the universe's way of tapping me on the shoulder and saying "this is your path".
Which is why I was so puzzled when I was diagnosed with it a second time just last week. Two lymph nodes under my right arm (the mastectomy side) show as positive for cancer on the PET scan. I have surgery scheduled in two weeks and radiation therapy to follow up for 6 weeks after that. They will dissect the nodes to determine what kind of cancer it is. Should it prove to be different from what I was originally diagnosed with I may be facing chemo all over again. It's like a punch in the gut.
So if the universe was pointing my way before, what is it telling me now? Maybe it's time for me to talk about it. To help other people through it. So that's where I'm starting.
Do a self exam, tell your friends and family and most importantly, savor life. Every moment.
Lakewood, CO
