We're told we're so brave! I've been told that many, many times... But there's a hidden truth behind every smile!
Only you can really hear it! It's the sound of your heart breaking, when it get's too loud you'll run and hide to let the tears flow down your cheeks. You're not feeling brave, you are terrified! Throughout surgeries and treatments, you want everyone else to be brave and strong. But that feeling is always there... What if I never see you again!
I live overseas from my friends. I grew up in England and moved to the US when I was 19! - I've lost touch with my family (mother and 3 sisters) that can't be changed because they have told me clearly that they don't want to be a part of my life! I asked for my childhood photos, but they refuse to send any to me. - To them I am already gone!
But I have friends that have been right by my side every step of the way, both here in the US and back home!
The last time I saw my friends back home we were all laughing like schoolgirls so loud that people stared and laughed too! - I can't think about that night without crying... "What if I never see them again?" I'd have hugged longer and looked into their eyes trying to remember every detail of their happy faces.
6 months ago I didn't know what Invasive Lobular Carcinoma really meant. Breast Cancer was Breast Cancer! But, it isn't... It's a life changing experience. It's a thief of dreams! I might not be able to afford to see them again!
They say it's a small world, but it feels like it's swallowing me up and bigger than it ever was! Or in Simpler terms... England seems like it's a million miles away!
Milford, CT
