I was diagnosed with Stage IIA breast cancer last July when I was 50 years old. The past year has been difficult -- surgery, chemotherapy, radiation -- while simultaneously balancing two part-time jobs and family responsibilities. Yet, I learned that for most bad things the cancer brought, at least one good thing happened, too.
> Losing my hair from chemotherapy was traumatic ,,, but not having to fuss with washing, drying, and styling my hair was liberating. Accessorizing with hats was actually fun.
> Nausea was unpleasant. Food tasting "funny" for so long was frustrating ... but I lost the 20 lbs that I had accumulated as part of middle-age spread.
> Not being able to do everything I used to do for my kids (ages 10 and 15) made me feel inadequate ... but it empowered my kids to do more for themselves and take pride in helping Mom out.
> Thinking about my own possible death was depressing ... but I developed a keen awareness and appreciation for what I could sense with the body I have now: hearing my favorite music, seeing my husband's smiling face in our wedding picture, the physical sensation of hugging my children.
The two biggest lessons I learned during my cancer journey are:
1. Be kind to yourself. This is a long process -- be patient. Rest when you need to. Accept help when it's offered. Ask for help if you need it. Give yourself permission to take the time you need to heal.
2. Pray for strength to face whatever happens, not for a miraculous cure.
Charitable Organization: SHARE of New York, NY -- a supportive network of breast and ovarian cancer survivors providing telephone hotlines, support groups, and education in English and Spanish -- all free of charge.
Wayne, NJ
