Those three little words, "You have cancer." I knew my life would change from them, but I could have never predicted how much change would take place. The initial shock and need to act immediately swept over me, as it does for most. I needed to read everything. October and November 08 were the education months. It was only after educating myself that I was able to make an informed decision about the course of treatment that I would take.
It was during this time that I learned how organized and meticulous I could be under pressure. Ask me anything about my cancer, and I could answer you like a doctor. Although my household chores were put on the back burner, I needed to act and do without hesitation, or emotion. I guess I was in survival mode.
December through April, were the surgery and recovery months. It was during these months, that I had the most spiritual and emotional growth. Although there was overwhelming sadness and loss, there was a new sense, or a heightened sense, of appreciation and life.
This was the first time I was totally aware of everyone in my life and the roles they would play in my future. My family, friends, and acquaintances took on a whole new meaning. Through all of this, I have learned that at some time we all do need each other to survive.
May 09 through the present, brings a second round of sadness, loss, and illness. Fibro and nerve damage which I have chronic pain from. Instead of suppressing these emotions, and re-living survival mode, I am choosing to feel everything. I embrace each emotion . I am alive and living each day.
"Life is unpredictable." It truly is what we each make of it.
Island Park, NY
