In November 2011, I had my 2nd annual routine mammogram. A few days after my appointment I received a "call back" and went in for more pictures. I was told there was definitely something different from my mammo 15 months ago and they wanted to do a needle biopsy. On December 8, 2011 I received a call from my doctor saying I had breast cancer. I remember the moment clearly, the burning in my solar plexus, the blood draining from my extremities, the panick, the terror of the unknown.
The following months were some of the most difficult days I have ever faced. A bilateral mastectomy, chemotherapy, reconstruction, more unknown, feeling isolated, alone, betrayed by my body, not knowing if I could ever trust my body to do what it was supposed to do again.
I look back on those days and all the times that I believed I would never be able to live a normal life again, not think about cancer, treatment, or recurrence every day. However, you get stronger, you go back to your life and then develop a comfort level with the word cancer, your body and your mind. Although I didn't believe it at the time, there are days you forget you had cancer.
I tried to remain positive throughout my treatment and recovery. It helped to search out motivational quotes and books. When I started to feel bad, I'd google something to watch or searched quotes about hope, perseverance, and belief. I read books, I posted positive posts on my Facebook page, anything to bring a positive view to my life. I made a decision to looked for lessons and blessing in my life.
It was one of the worst times of my life, but it also was the biggest blessings in my life. I grew as a person and I was able to use the blessings and lessons in what I went through and develop a new appreciation for life, myself, my body, and my family. I learned what is really important in life.
Kennebunk, ME
