Courage is not absence of fear, but mastery of fear...
I was 43, single with 2 daughters who had left home. Turns out, I was not alone. I was diagnosed on Sept. 5 - Stage 3 hormonal inflammatory cancer (the works!). The mass was too big (6 cm) and had to be shrunk before going through radical modified mastectomy. I had 8 rounds of chimio - that was hard, no need to say - but the worst was that I had to live with this inside me for severals months. I would talk to it, as if it was not a part of me, an intruder, ordering it to disappear. When the surgeon was able to remove my breast on April 6, it was a major victory. I did not loose a breast, although it is gone - I only gained my life back, my body back. I would look at myself in the mirror and be filled with peace.
My body has changed and cancer did leave its mark, but the biggest transformation was done to the core of me, my soul, my heart... I catch myself smiling, amused by the irritants of everyday life... Amazed by the smile of a stranger... And food, the taste of all kinds of food!:-D
I believe that we create our own destiny with the right attitude, so I posted a profile on a dating site and took the plundge... 4 weeks following my surgery (I had to wait to at least remove my drain!) Arrogance or pure insanity? Don't know... But I found love . What a man, a mighty good man ;-) No wigs, radiation, scars could scare him away. Right now, at this time, I have everything that I want...
I made it! Hope is all I need now...
Gatineau, Canada
