I was wondering what I was going to do for the "BIG 40" which is this upcoming May 8th. However, a lump that I had neglected turned out to be Stage 3 Breast Cancer that had spread to the lymph nodes. I was diagnosed on April 8th. I then had a port in, and the next day had my first round of Chemo. My next round is on May 12th, then I will be having a double mastectomy, and removing those lymph nodes, I will have expanders. Radiation is still a possibility. I have no family history of breast cancer. I did however, have a full hysterectomy 3 years ago, and was put on estrogen as a result. The Dr. informed me that I will loose all my hair, so I am shaving it this Friday. I laugh about the "new boobs". I guess is how I'm not crying all the time. They've taken me off my estrogen, so now I'm also going through menopause---WTH???? I'm quite a mess! I have no children, and am currently staying with my Dad so I won't be alone (my mom passed away 2 years ago). I try to smile, laugh and carry on as if nothing has changed, but at the end of the day, I know that this disease is in my body and eating away at my flesh. It doesn't discriminate, but it can kill. Sometimes I get so down, that I wonder if I should just give up the fight, but then there are days that I'm a warrior. I'm so tired already, it's only just begun. I know I have a long road ahead of me, I just hope the my Mom gives God a little push , so that I may have the strength to endure the journey.
ASHLING BAGNALLTAMPA, FL
