This is the steepest hill one ever has to climb! Entering into my husband's world of mist, far above the clouds. Each cloud representative of the many phases of Alzheimers Disease that I have encountered on a daily basis, and stumbling and falling far short of what is needed to make my loved one feel at ease in his journey from the basic memory loss to total lack of cognizant human behavior. We strive to aid and comfort, but we don't always know the way... we fail often in basic care taking, reassurances and in being able to love wholly. We are humanity.
The clouds shed intermittent shadows on my life as well, but I have slowly begun to revisit my existence, attempting to regain semblance of order towards my future below the mist, with the support, prayers and love of family and friends. It is paramount I do not lose my way as well, in the mist. The mist is but a shroud encircling all care takers. We must be strong and conquer the invader and remain vigilant in every way possible, through prayer, through research, through our giving and caring, through wherever the road may lead.
The Good Shepherd guides him as I see he doesn't want to leave me, eyes beseechingly exploring my being as I his, wishing it could be different. AD shows no mercy as it feeds on ever more vital brain cells, until one day there will be no more. They are long gone from us somewhere in this climb to the stars far above. And life goes on, and in time we must relinquish our hold and allow him to take the Shepherd's hand.
Manchester, NJ